Here is how this is going to work.

Its almost a simple question/answer type of thing. 

The first i have is a rather hard hitter:

What is the meaning of life?

Well, let me tell you.

The main purpose of your life, is to reproduce. If we stop reproducing the species dies out. That is your soul purpose. Yes! For you little nymphos out there.. The meaning of life is sex. Sex that leads to pregnancy. Not that  'Condoms, pills and abortions OH MY!" approach. No, you have to have this child AND raise it too. 

Its ok, stop crying. You pansy. Theres another reason too.

If you expect me to say 'love' your wrong. Its to simply be happy. Now, if being happy is sitting around no scoping noobs on halo, then you've got it easy. No scope away, as long as your happy. Do WHAT it takes to make YOU happy. That is the emotional meaning of life. You can't let anyone, or anything  stop you from achieving this, or the few short years your here are a simple waste. And man, think about it. Your 89, you just got hit by a truck, your 3 seconds from death, and the only thing you can think is-

"Man, I sure wasted my life."

Why the fuck did you get hit by a car?!